As much as possible there are two things in my life that I’m keeping in private [1]Family [2] Love Life. It’s not that I’m not proud of them but because I want to treasure them on my own way. Most of the time I say things about them only if you ask questions about them. Call it selfishness or whatever you want to say but that’s just part of me.
When I was in College I wrote a mushy blog about someone, few have had read it but I scrapped it few days after. Before, I never talk about love seriously because I find it corny. Now, I’m writing again.. trying my best luck to talk about LOVE. Love and Heartache are two of the many universal feelings. It means, it’s not only yah sistah who feel/felt these.
Four Things Who Pushed Me To Write This Blog
1. Inspired By An Author. According to Penelope Trunk in her blog The Easiest Instructions For How To Write A Blog -she said there-”Blogging is about the courage to say something. Don’t worry about being stupid because trust me, no one is reading your post.” I immediately said to myself.. She’s right why I’m so hesitant when I have all the freedom to write, who are my readers by the way?
2. Good Topic To Discuss. Love. I’m not an expert on this matter but at 25 maybe I’m already at the right age to talk about this. Plus, I want to read this blog again when I’m already at my 40′s or above because I want to remember myself and my opinions about Love at this age. Now I wish I didn’t delete my mushy blog when I was still in College.
3. Past Experience. After seeing myself fell in-love, brokenhearted and wen’t through the process of moving-on, I could say that I understand love better this time. I could understand now why people can do so many stupid things because of love..why songwriters wrote those words in our fave love songs and why people cry on TV shows/Movies that we are watching because of break-ups.
Either you’re on a Long or short-term relationship when you find true love and lost it, it will give you the same feeling “pain” that will hurt you so much like hell. Some recovered themselves from pain easily, some took them awhile before they moved-on. When you are in the situation it seems like no advice can make you feel better, some of them can even make you feel more sick. You’re longing to have him/her back because you thought there’s no better person other than them, which is for me pretty normal. It’s easy to say there’s plenty of fish in the ocean but actually it’s hard to find the real one. In real life, not all fairy tales will end happily ever after. You can’t find love everyday so if you have it right now treasure it, cherish every moment you have because you’ll never know when it will going to end.
4. Playing Like A Great Love Adviser. Everytime I’m reading shoutouts of my friends on Facebook.. how brokenhearted and lonely they are… I wanted to give all my comforting words just to make them feel okay but I never did…. but when my younger cousin texted me “Ate I need your help, I need your advices… and it hurts a lot” I already knew what she meant so I replied to her sms “I know, I also felt the same……..”and after exchanging few long messages I felt great when she said “Thanks Ate, I feel better now and your advises are big help to me”…it seems like I want to thank all my heartaches I had before because I helped someone to feel better now.. LOL!
Basically this blog is for her, hopefully she’ll get something from here.
Not so long ago I met someone and we had many great times together. I could see myself in him because he is someone who is so much like me. No dull moments, we can do or talk about anything from non-sense to serious topics together that even on our silent moments we have our own special connections to communicate.
When he came into my life at first I didn’t notice him because I was eyeing on someone else but he did all his best just to make me recognize him. He was someone who’ll do everything just to make me feel happy until one day I just found myself enjoying with his company. At that time we’re both aware that we are liking each other but we chose not to commit because we both know we’re just going to end our relationship sooner or later. One day we realized why not to give ourselves the chance to love each other and so we did. Just like any other relationships we also had some minor misunderstandings which made us to know each other deeper and we even had more fun together. Everything was perfect for me at that time until we reached our fears.. he went somewhere away. When we bid goodbye even if we are still good I know that was the end and I was not wrong when we had the chance to talk about us we formally ended our relationship. Although, I’m already anticipating these things to happen at the very beginning but it was still hard for me to let go especially when you don’t have enough reasons to do so. We didn’t wish for anything before but to see each other’s happiness and all the bests for us in this world but like what he said“Building expectations are easy but not meeting them are hurting” . It’s easy to say wait for me but it’s hard to say until (when?).. It’s hard to wait especially when both of you know you have less chance of seeing each other again. In whatever we had, I don’t feel any regrets at all because for once in our lives we made each other happy. It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
Sometimes I like someone but when the time comes they are starting to like me, I stop liking them... weird right? I already fell in love many times and he was not my first boyfriend but that was the first time I love someone and loved me at the same time. I remember when I was young, I liked someone. I even prayed to God that hopefully he’ll be my husband someday because I thought he was the perfect one for me but now I could barely remember how he exactly looks like. hehehe
Even I was totally hurt when we ended I never curse him nor question God. I even said thank you to them for giving me such pain because I learned so many things.
Just not to change my surrounding; I learned how to smile like there’s nothing going on, even inside I was dying. They even thought I was in-love when the time I was totally broken. Mind yah it’s not easy at all but I felt great for myself that I was able to do that. Prayers really work, believe it or not I asked that pain from God because I used to ask how painful is pain, so I told God I want to see myself falling in-love and standing-up after the said pain (in other words I just want to test myself). I actually just remembered that prayer when I was already in pain. God hears our prayers, when I told God that the pain is killing me and I can’t no longer bear it, after I woke up the following day I could not feel the pain anymore and I felt good since that day… it’s a miracle right? Now, I have another prayers but of course I’m not going to disclose it yet. But I believe he’ll give that to me at the right time.
In whatever situation (whether high or low) I let songs absorb all my feelings inside and the following are the songs I could remember I was listening to during those days:
Just not to change my surrounding; I learned how to smile like there’s nothing going on, even inside I was dying. They even thought I was in-love when the time I was totally broken. Mind yah it’s not easy at all but I felt great for myself that I was able to do that. Prayers really work, believe it or not I asked that pain from God because I used to ask how painful is pain, so I told God I want to see myself falling in-love and standing-up after the said pain (in other words I just want to test myself). I actually just remembered that prayer when I was already in pain. God hears our prayers, when I told God that the pain is killing me and I can’t no longer bear it, after I woke up the following day I could not feel the pain anymore and I felt good since that day… it’s a miracle right? Now, I have another prayers but of course I’m not going to disclose it yet. But I believe he’ll give that to me at the right time.
In whatever situation (whether high or low) I let songs absorb all my feelings inside and the following are the songs I could remember I was listening to during those days:
Butterfly-If you don’t believe on destiny, well I do but for me... destiny doesn’t mean that you’ll meet someone and you’ll live together forever already but sometimes it’s like this… you’re destined to meet someone, fall in-love and lose them because even losing is part of that destiny. Maybe, just maybe... you’re just destined to know each other and won’t end-up together..
Set You Free-even if it’s hard sometimes loving means setting someone free.
I Don’t Need A Man-when you’re already tired with your drama.. listen to this song. I’m not a man-hater (after what happened) but if love is not real, no deal. We don’t need a man just to make us feel good and complete. We have our own life and we know that we can do our thing.. right ladies?
There are still a lot of things that will possibly happen on this earth, so go get-up.. dry your tears now and show them what you are made of ladies!!
